I need to get back on track with my exercise/food tracking.  The last few weeks, I have ignored exercise, jogging, calorie counting, etc., all because I'm feeling rebellious and lazy.  

Well, I refuse to keep going down this sad, dark tunnel of self loathing.  Time to get back in gear.

I just feel like once I've messed up, I'm toast.  Like, I was doing SO WELL for a while there, then I mess up once and I'm on the bad-eating, stressing, no fun, fatty fat fat wagon again.  

OK self, let's get things back in gear again. 

Sunday, sunday, SUNDAY!!! In DC.

Bark Victory! is dedicated to preventing the unnecessary euthanizing of animal companions either due to the inability of owners to pay for financially prohibitive veterinary procedures or lost or abandoned animals being "redlisted" at shelters!

 

Bark Victory! recently moved from LA to DC and hopes to keep our mission going in our new home. Bark Victory! was recently profiled in In Magazine LA - http://www.inlamagazine.com/pdfedition/1126.pdf - pg. 36!

Bark Victory! is back on track in DC on August 23rd at the Velvet Lounge, raising money for PETS-DC (www.petsdc.org) who help folks with HIV and AIDS take care of their pets. Scheduled to perform are: tribal fusion bellydance troupe Kallisti Tribal, rocking accordionista Eric Voboril, musical comedy trio Eva Brontosaurus, acoustic rocker Tom Goss and and alt. rockers Candy Coated Pain Pills. The evening is hosted by DC's fittest comedienne Dawn MacLear. Doors 7:30 PM, Show 8:00 PM sharp! $10 suggested donation. Velvet Lounge is located at 915 U St., N.W., kitty corner from the Green Line U St. metro stop.

I'm feeling a bit of a slump lately.  Even though I have been taking care of myself, I'm feeling some serious guilt about my life in general.  Mainly, I'm feeling like I fail as a fully functioning, well rounded adult.

And by those statements, I mean that I just can't seem to "get it."  I have no clue how to balance all of the little things I have to do in a day, week, month.  For instance, if I make fitness a priority and stick to exercising at least 5 days a week, that time is sucked away from other important things, like doing laundry, cleaning the kitchen, remembering to drop off my library books or iron clothes.  And, subsequently, if I make sure every night to vacuum the living room and clean up dinner/wipe down the counters, I then find I have no time to take out the recycling, exercise, knit, dance, etc., etc., etc... you catch my drift.

And add on top of this the need to take care of Story and try to enjoy my time with her and Tim.  What it all equates to is feeling like a busy, worn out, stressed out mess who NEVER gets everything done. The only way I can think of is to totally deny doing anything for myself and never getting any sleep. BOTH of which aren't options.

I just don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like I seriously need to assess my life and figure out how I can get all of these tasks handled. Because as it is, I'm whirling out of control.

I wish I had the money to hire a maid, a life coach and an organizational/time management specialist.  I need a sugar daddy/mommy!

 For just 3 easy installments of $19.95, I can share with you the magic weightloss secret that lets you eat what you want, drink a glass of wine or two per day, eat delightful desserts and shed pounds while you haven't done a lick of exercise.  Do not be fooled by competitors, the Beezers Secret of The Ages Diet will have you gasping at your scale and fitting into your skinny jeans.

( Click here for the secret. )

All joking aside, I need to get some rest/sleep soon.  We're going on week two of raising a baby with an extreme amount of energy, hightened mobility and a completely whacked out sleep schedule.  So, Tim and I are basically zombies.

:*( 

We're excited for tonight because we're going to a wedding and my mom is watching Story overnight.  AKA we can get a full night's sleep without worrying about the baby.  This will be heaven, I tell you!

Why does it seem like the more I watch my weight and exercise, the hungrier I get?  I didn't used to get 11 a.m. hunger pangs, but now I find myself every day at 11 a.m. on the dot wanting to reach into my lunch stash. And what's worse- I am completely out of snacks.  Since getting on the Eating Better Bus, I usually keep pretzel rods around that I can gnaw on whenever I feel a snack attack, but today I polished off the last one.  Grrrrr.

On another note, I have purchased a scale so I can monitor my weightloss.  I am thrilled to say that I am only 10lbs away from my pre-baby weight!  I had originally set the goal of being back to my pre-Story weight by January, to give myself some breathing room.  But I think I'll be past my goal in the next month or two. YAY!  And in all, I am SO PROUD to say that I have lost 50lbs already since she was born. 

Although my final goal is still a good 50lbs away.  I hope that by this time next year, I'll hit that goal or be darned close to hitting it.  I figure that if I keep up my exercise routine, keep dodging bad for me foods like a ninja (except for my splurge days, which I'm allowed a couple a month) and sign up for as many running events as I can, I'll get there eventually.

Just to share with other friends who are trying to slim down the lifestyle changes I've made that have made the difference:

( my weight loss tactics )

For those of you out there in the weight-losing game, let me know what you do to stay on target, too.  I think having a community to share with really helps me when it comes to things like this.

We watched Firefly and boy, does it make me sad.  It is SUCH a good show, such a DAMNED GOOD SHOW that it makes my blood boil that it got cancelled so soon into the story.  And yes, my poor browncoat heart can admit now that it will never, EVER get another shot.  But grrrr... how is it that so much crap gets to stay on TV and something this great gets the can?

today has been a day of cooking.  I love when I get days that I can laze about and whomp up delicious foods. Today we've made:

*Lamb in tandoori yogurt sauce (marinating)
*Papaya/mango/mint salad
*Lemon butter chicken
*Papaya, mango and beet Storyfood

and I'm about to make some blueberry cobbler using the giant box o'blueberries I got from Sam's Club.

It's also relatively healthy stuff, so yay for guiltless noms!

OK, off to tackle that cobblah!

Ok, I'm gonna bite the bullet here and get my pagan butt in gear.  I'm creating a Non Crazy Pagan Pals group for those of you who wish to get together for holidays/rituals, or are just interested in a little pagany hangouts. I've created a google calendar and a group.  If you want to be involved, feel free to post here.

The only rules are:

*No drama/shennanigans
*be as cheesy as you want to be, but don't front.
*be open to the ideas of others
*be able to cook tasty food Or purchase it for our holidays (lol, JK)

Con Air is on tv and I cannot stop cracking up at Nicholas Cages' hair!



So pretty. So shiny. So fluffy. i can just smell the pantene and L.A.  Looks wafting my way.

bwhahhahahahaha

About two months ago, I purchased EA Active and jumped right into the 30 Day Challenge.  I've always been an all-or-nothing kind of gal, which has its pluses and minuses.  On the plus side, when I get stuff done I do it ALL THE WAY.  But when I choose to let things go, watch out.

( EA Active... what has it done for me? )

So, I'll be posting on here my progress, as well as weigh-ins, etc. I'm not telling anyone my final goal, as that's personal and private.  But I vow this: The Fat Girl is Getting her Walking Papers!

We're doing some office flip-flopping around here, as our director is moving, so we're all shuffling for new office space.

Currently, I am isolated in my own corner of our suite, away from the other members of our team (it just so happens that this was the only office available at the time, so I took it).  However, since the boss lady is moving, this opens up a space in The Power Corner (aka with the other jokesters I enjoy at work).

The request was just put in and, happily, I shall soon be moving one door down.  Even though it's less space, I'm happy to be moving.  They're really the fun crew and right now I get a bit lonely.

PS- still haven't touched those donuts.  I RULE!

There are several reason why today is made of FAIL...

1) I cannot find my contacts anywhere.  I was BRILLIANT enough to throw away my last pair because I was sure I had put my new contacts away somewhere responsible and easy to locate (like the bathroom, where we keep such things), but no.  I know for a fact that I brought them in when I came home with my glasses several weeks ago, but I have NO CLUE where they went after that.  I have since cleaned out my car and cleaned the house several times, but haven't found or seen them.  UGH.

2) I nearly popped off my car mirror from scraping up against the fence when pulling out today.  This is terribly annoying because I a) already scraped up the side of my car nearly a year ago from doing the exact same thing and b) have to now pay two deductibles since I never put in the first claim.  Also, it's TOTALLY my own fault both times, so I may get an insurance increase and Tim thinks I shouldn't get the scraped bodywork done, because it's cosmetic/the car is still drivable. Hence, I am now in an argument with Tim as to whether or not I should just bite the bullet and get both sets of work done now (which is what I want to do) or save the money on the cosmetic claim and just get the mirror done.  Either way, it sucks and it's all my fault.

3) My commute was horrible.  The thunder storm made 97 all sorts of backed up/hard to navigate.  Add in the weirdness of glasses-view and the lack of mirror.

4) It's fuh-reeeeeeeezing in my office.  And, it smells like one of the cleaning crew smoked a cigarette in our building.  ICK.

AND FINALLY...

5) Even though I've lost 50 lbs since having story, I still have 50 to go and, upon purchasing a scale last night, weight 10 lbs more than I thought I did.  So I'm all sorts of body depressed.

waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Ok, off I go to do things and try to make the best of this crappy day.

EDIT: add to all this that one of my printers, being nice, brought us a ton of munchkin donut holes.  I am now  using Iron Will +5 to resist them!

My boss is a fabulous lady. I walked into her office today to give her the forms for reimbursement for my masters classes and she just gave me this big smile. She told me she was so excited for me and that I just HAD to do this. She kept shaking her head and smiling, saying over and over how it was so cool.

Yay for lovely bosses!

On another note, I got to check out my books for my first set of classes and am actually pretty excited about them.



Organization Theory and Design is apparently all about how businesses and organizations are structured.  I haven't read it yet (obviously), but it has been lauded as meshing old-school business philosophy with the newest trends in how organizations work.  I have this bizarre fascination with the corporate food chain, division of labor and reporting... so this should be fun.

The other book is going to elicit one hell of a guffaw out of my boss and our staff writers. It's the Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association.  AKA getting into the AP style of writing (the style they vehemently uphold in the office).  I don't think I can really communicate just how much yelling goes on around here about AP style.  The phrase, "BECAUSE THAT'S NOT AP STYLE!!!???!!!!" gets thrown around here quite a lot, especially when other people try to write their own content for our publications.

Can you tell I'm already getting super excited?  Hopefully it doesn't suck. :)

On another different note... TONIGHT IS CRAB FEASTING WITH TIMMERZ.  Yum!  Can't wait to go and eat tons of crabs, cheesesteak and pie.  Oh and GLORIOUS BEER!  I even did my exermacisin' this morning, so I'm paid up!

It's official...I am now a bona fide masters student.

I have been accepted into UMUC's program for a MS in Management/Public Relations. Yay, I has a pulse!!

Even though the admissions girl pretty much told me that, barring any crazy stuff on my transcript, they let anyone in, I still feel good about going back to school. I'm really hooked on working in a Public Relations/Marketing environment and, being the bossy thing I am, would like to be the big lady in charge one day.

I'm currently signed up for The Manager in the Technological Word right now. It's an online course that starts 9/9/09 and I can't wait. It already has the most ridiculous sounding text book ever: Organizational Theory and Design, 10th Edition. Aww yeah, I'll soon be a stiff-in-charge, just like The Office.

Wheee!

You'd think that by having a child I'd feel more invincible.  When it comes to trying new things, I've pretty much always described myself as a risk taker. But for some reason, as my body got all out of shape and ungainly from having Story, I also lost a TON of self confidence.  I began to see myself as some awkward penguin, slumping her way around.  And actually, if you looked at my body shape and balance after giving birth, yeah... penguin kind of describes it.

( yoga thoughts and rambling )

I was talking to Tim about my hectic work schedule the other day and how I'm currently working on two publications at once (20 page magazine plus internal newsletter) plus a bunch of one-off projects, to which Tim said:

"Remember when you were in school and it took you hours if not days to design something?"

The fact that I can go from just being handed a project to first draft in 10-15min now seems just normal to me, but if I look back at how long it used to take, I do have to give myself a giant pat on the back.  What makes me faster?  A better understanding of programs, more trust in my intuition and more confidence in my vision.  At first, I used to be so daunted as to whether I was "good enough" with each design, and now it just happens.

So, I guess I have earned my Photoshop Hero shirt for now.

ON ANOTHER NOTE: I get to do a photo shoot on monday of a rare/very involved surgery and I'm soooo stoked.  It's going to be really fascinating and cool. GOLD STARS to loving my job.

I have spent the last few days searching the internet for bathing suits.  I have spent my lunch breaks dropping by the mall to check out what they have.  I have even gone after work to Marshall's, desperate to find something that worked.  All have been full of FAIL.

Then, last night, I decided to try on the My Baby Jo suit just one more time before sending it back.  And it fit.  No seriously, I was just really confused about where the shelf bra should go and didn't understand that it had so much support in it that the shelf would end on my ribcage.  Seriously, people, if this doesn't show that I've pretty much always worn bikinis, I don't know what will.

So yes, after all that crap, all that whining, it all turned out well in the end.  Sheesh.

Now I just have to get one of those thingies to help blow up our mini pool and it's ON for a Beezerz/Timmerz/Story pool partaaaay!

((still embarassed))

but fail miserably.

I have to return the swimsuit, as it's too short in the darned torso!  Everything else about it is ridiculously cute, but it's just too short.  The gal at My Baby Jo suggests that I could try a size up, but since I'm going to have to pay to ship it back and swallow the restocking fee (only $10, but still), I'm just not in the mood to chance it at this point.

( bitch bitch, moan, gripe )

OK, bitching done.

Damn, back to the bathing suit drawing board.